Charlottesville Part II - It's Up to Us

I must be slow to the draw, because I’m still having a problem with people standing up for the protesters in Charlottesville on Saturday.  If I understand correctly, some still think this is all about statues.  Really?

Let me tell you what this is about.  This is about a large group of white (mostly) men who believe that they should rule the world.  They want to ethnically cleanse the human race by getting rid of anyone different than themselves: Jews, Blacks, Hispanics, Gays, etc.  They believe that slavery was okay, that Hitler was right, and that no government should tell them what to do.  They were not in Charlottesville to protest the removal of a confederate statue, although that’s how they obtained a permit to assemble.  They were there, in their own words, to take back Charlottesville.  To take it back from the Jews and the Blacks.  This was NEVER about statues.

I know people are upset about the removal (or non-removal) of confederate statues.  Personally, I don’t care.  Statues are THINGS.  I’m more interested in PEOPLE.  I care more that there are still groups in the world who want ethnic cleansing.  I care that there are still NAZIS!! Think about it, people.  We were at war for over four years trying to defeat the Nazis and now we should stand back and watch them rise again?? Hell, no!!!

Please think about this. Think about what is more important to you. Is it your house or your family? Your car or your grandchildren?  Saving a bronze statue or saving a human from discrimination, injury, or even death?  THAT is what Charlottesville was about.  Not statues or protests or history or first amendment rights or even politics.  People.  Human beings.  God’s children.

Which do you choose?

Charlottesville

I haven’t published a blog entry in quite a while.  It gets hard to keep coming up with topics that I think you’ll find interesting that aren’t controversial.  I’m one who avoids conflict like the plague.  Which is good in some situations, but also limits my ability to make changes in life.

But sometimes, something happens that crushes my heart, inflames my anger, and assaults my faith in the human race.  Today, that “thing” can be summed up in one word – “Charlottesville.”

Some will ask why I’m writing about this, but not about other incidents of race or discrimination.  And honestly, I’m not sure.  Every incident angers and saddens me, but this one more so.  Maybe because it is in a town I’ve visited, or because it seemed especially horrific; or maybe it’s because of the lack of proper response by our president.  In any case, I feel compelled to share with you.
I grew up in the South.  I was born in the middle of the Equal Rights Movement that included protests, marches, the Clinton 12, and Martin Luther King, Jr.  We had very few children of color in our school, so my life was considerably “white.”

My parents, both born and raised in Tennessee, probably saw discrimination all around them growing up.  I’m sure they heard the “N” word many times.  However, when raising my two sisters and me, they made sure we knew this word was NEVER allowed in our home.  We didn’t discriminate.  People were people, no matter their skin color.  Again, living in an area of few minorities, I didn’t have to use this life lesson until later in life.

Now, I’m not a flaming lefty; I don’t usually march in protests or even agree with every cause.  A registered Democrat, I’ve probably voted for as many Republicans as members of my own party.  I tend to vote for the person whom I feel has the public’s best interest at heart.  But one area where I disagree with the majority of conservatives is that of human rights.

We all know the phrase, “All men are created equal…”.  I disagree with this statement, but not in the way you think.  There are Caucasians, African-Americans, Hispanics, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Asians, Gays, Straights, and many other groups of people who are created equal.  And then there are those men and women in Charlottesville.   The ones who carried weapons, shields, and signs; those who wore hoods or what is apparently their new uniform, khakis and polos.  Those who shouted hate and bile and disgusting, useless words at innocent people.  Those who beat up African-American men just because of their skin.  That poor excuse of a human who killed a woman just because she was standing up for what she believed, JUST LIKE HE WAS!  These people…these evil creatures…these men are NOT created equal.

Why do we hate each other so much?  Have we become so self-centered that we think of ourselves better than everyone?  Have we lost our faith to the point that we don’t believe in anything anymore?  Have we lost the ability to love and to just be kind?  How does the color of someone’s skin, or their sexuality, or their gender, or their religion…how do these things make us different?  Don’t we all have the same blood and bones and muscles and tissues?  Don’t we all breathe and eat and sleep?

I hate to tell you protesters in Charlottesville, but the color of your skin is pure luck.  God decided to put you in a white family.  You could just have easily had a different skin color.  Then how would you feel?  Would you still think the white race is the only race?  Take a moment and just think about what your life would be like if you had been born with brown skin…

All people have a right to their beliefs.  They have a right to let those beliefs be known.  But they have NO right to hate.  No right to condemn, to curse, to injure, to kill, to spit on, to yell at, or engage in any other manner of hate toward another human being.

What happened this weekend in Charlottesville was disgusting.  I am deeply angered by the events.  I’m angered that it was allowed to escalate to the point of murder.  I’m angered that our Administration refuses to take a bigger stand against these acts.  I’m angered that we are still fighting these fights in 2017.  And I’m ashamed.  Ashamed of my fellow man.  Ashamed that we sit back while these horrible people continue to spread their hate.  And ashamed of myself; that I’ve watched from a distance and silently protested these horrendous acts, but never helped to stop it.

No more.  Today, I begin to fight.  I begin to fight for my daughter’s future.  For everyone’s future.  Because if we don’t stand up, who will?

Singin' the Blues

I haven’t written in a few weeks.  No particular reason why.  I just haven’t been in the mood.  Call it lack of interest.  Call it ennui.  Or call it what it probably is – depression.

I’m not talking about mind-numbing, earth-shattering, lie-in-bed-all-day depression.  More like I-need-the-beach, when-did-I-get-fat, I'm-tired-of-laundry depression. The kind that makes you tired and lazy, but doesn't last long.

Here’s what some people don’t realize: depression has many forms.  It doesn’t always hit you hard, like after a tragedy.  Sometimes it sneaks in, letting you think everything is fine, when really it’s just okay.  And it is okay; it’s just not great.

There’s no one reason for my little depression.  Nothing bad has happened.  No one is sick; no marriage is suffering; nobody is angry or sad.  Yes, I said no one is sad.  The second myth of depression is that you must be unbearably sad.  Nope.  Not even a little.  Bored, perhaps. Feeling a little lost in life, maybe.  Needing a purpose, most likely.  Not sad, just “eh”.

I’ve never been embarrassed to admit I have depression.  I think, if we were all honest, the majority of us have some measure of it.  Some is controllable by meditation, or prayer, or exercise.  Other requires medication.  I started taking medication when I began having panic attacks.  I soon realized they also helped my moods and my ability to handle life.  I’m not ashamed of it.  I may take it the rest of my life.  And here is where the third myth of depression comes in.

Depression is not a condition; it is a disease. Believe what you want, but I know this to be true.  I have a beautiful life.  A loving family. So depression is not something I choose.  Just like diabetes, high blood pressure, or any number of chronic illnesses, depression is physical.  It affects not just your brain, but your joints, your stamina, your digestive system – your whole body.  And just as you take medication to control those other diseases, medication helps with depression. If you are prescribed it, TAKE IT!  It’s not a short-term solution – it’s a life-time commitment to health.

I’m not trying to make light of depression.  There are people who are truly, deeply depressed and need more serious measures.  These are the people for whom medication isn’t enough.  If you know of anyone (or if it’s you)  who even hints at depression so serious that they think about suicide, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY! Don’t assume they are being dramatic or just joking. Take these threats seriously.

I guess the message I want to send is this: depression can hit anyone at any time.  It can be anything from a bad case of the blues to wanting to die.  It is not a condition, it is a disease.  The people who take medication for it are not crazy.  It should NOT be embarrassing to admit you suffer from depression.  It is treatable, if not curable.

If you, like me, suffer from some level of depression, speak up!  We need to sound the bell!  Spread the word!  Show people that normal, everyday, sane people can suffer from depression.   And if someone you love might be suffering, offer them help.  You won’t be sorry.

Common Core, or Why Parents Drink

Common Core is not our friend. In fact, if I may blunt, it sucks.
S. U. C. K. S.

Hear me out on this one.  Cause I’m living this nightmare.  I have first-hand experience, and with it, the battle scars, the gray hair, and the high blood pressure to go along with it.

Now, I have quite a few friends who are teachers, including my own sister. Some of them may find Common Core helpful; truthfully, I didn’t ask them. So this rant is purely from a parent point of view.  In fact, let’s narrow it down to just THIS parent’s point of view.  So here goes.

My child learns differently from your kid, and your kid learns differently from someone else’s.  Our kids aren’t made cookie-cutter, so why should we teach them that way?  Education isn’t factory work, churning out identical graduates.  Learning should be fluid and flexible, allowing for different abilities and different personalities.

Look, I get the concept of Common Core: each child is offered the same opportunity; every child learns the same information at the same time; lessons are designed to help students prepare for college and beyond.  Sounds great. But does it work? Not in my house.

Before Common Core, my child was an A/B student.  She was able to complete her assignments with minimal effort.  Yes, I know these were the “easy” first few years of education – before the harder work and the hormones kicked in.  But a kid doesn’t have a complete reversal of ability in two years time.  We are struggling now in all subjects. I try to help with math, but the methods now are so bizarre, even I can’t follow them. English is minimally better, and Science and Social Studies are just luck of the draw.

Our kid doesn’t learn well by rote; the multiplication tables were torture.  Lectures and tests about dates and names are certain failures. But give her something that allows for imagination and she excels!  Give her some freedom and she soars!  Let her be her own quirky self and she can rule the world!!

So here we are, at the end of 6th grade, trying to decide what to do next. We’ve tried private school and public school. We’ve tried helping her pass and letting her fail.  What’s left? Home school?  Will this be any better?  When she was a toddler and we realized she had advanced thinking skills, we never thought we’d be trying to just pass.

So, Common Core, we hate you. I’m sure you help some students, but you’re failing mine.

P.S. To lighten the mood, please read these hilarious tweets! Every. One. Is. Life.

http://www.scarymommy.com/funny-parenting-tweets-about-homework-and-common-core/?utm_source=FB

"Joey"

Today, I am mourning the death of someone that I’ve never met; someone that I’d never heard of until a few months ago; someone with whom I have nothing in common, except the love of family, Tennessee, and God.  Even in those areas, she was so far ahead of me, I would never reach her level.

Joey Feek passed away yesterday at the young age of 40, from cervical cancer.  If you haven’t seen her name in the news lately, she was a country music singer, a devout Christian, and the lead singer of the duo Joey + Rory. Together, they had a 2-year-old daughter, named Indiana.  Indiana was born with Downs Syndrome, but the family never made a big deal of it.  She was just their child. Period.

Joey fought her cancer for almost two years. In October, she learned that it was too aggressive and decided to stop treatments.  It was at that time that her story started being known outside the country music genre.

Rory Feek, her husband, writes a blog titled, “This Life I Live.”  In it, he has chronicled their journey through Joey’s illness, and now her passing.  It is his writing that has made me, and many others, feel that I was a part of their family.  That I was traveling down that sorrowful road with them.  His words made me smile and cry, feel joy and sorrow, ask “Why?” and say “I understand.”  He is a masterful writer, but the reason his words are so beautiful is simple – he loved her.

Joey and Rory were unique. They lived in a manner that evoked the feeling of the 1940s.  A simple life with home-grown vegetables; a farmhouse full of comfortable chairs and fresh flowers; hand made quilts and fresh baked pies.  It seemed an idyllic life, interrupted by sadness and pain.

You could see the love between Joey and Rory. The way she smiled at him, and the way his eyes lit up looking at her.  Perhaps the most telling photo I saw of their love was the last one – Rory sitting by Joey’s bed during her last days. Just sitting.  She was in her final sleep and would never know he was there, but he was.  Watching his beautiful bride slip away from him.

Their story is indeed heartbreaking, but do you know what he wrote upon her passing? “My wife’s greatest dream came true today.”  Through all his unquestionable sadness and grief, he knew that her passing was actually a great joy!  She is in Heaven! She is with Jesus!  He was so happy that she was where she belonged, that he could rejoice for her in the midst of his own pain.

That, my friends, is love.

These are the things that I learned from Joey and Rory:

• Never take life for granted. Every day, every hour, every second is precious and should be cherished.
• Every person deserves to be loved deeply and completely.
• Faith can carry you through anything.  ANYTHING.
• Death is not final. It is not the end, only the beginning.  Our lives on Earth are just a warm-up for the real thing.
• A walk outside, a kiss from a child, holding hands with a loved one, the sun on your face – all of these things are infinitely better than time watching TV or being on-line.
• I am blessed beyond measure.

So here I sit, thinking of people I don’t know; praying for a family I’ll never meet; rejoicing in the fact that this “stranger” is in Heaven.  I think Joey would approve.

Chasing Ghosts

One of the questions new visitors often ask about our old house is this: "Do you have ghosts?" Our answer is always, "We're not sure." How do you answer that? No, we've never seen a "ghost." But do we have things that haunt us? Of course we do!

When I think of "ghosts" or "hauntings", I don't think of them in the usual sense. To me, ghosts can occur in many forms: a mistake from the past; a regret; a missed loved one; etc. My ghost that haunts me is easy to identify - it's my mom.

Of course, I don't mean that my mom appears to me in spirit form. If she did, I'd be sitting in an asylum right now. But she is always with me, whether I want her or not! And, good or bad, she has shaped my life and made me who I am today.

Those who know my mom know what a force of nature she was. She never backed away from an opinion and made sure we knew who was in charge. She wasn't mean, but she could certainly hurt you when you let her guard down. My sisters and I all had different relationships with Mom, but to me, she was usually kind and loving. She was my mom.

When Mom died, I went through a breakdown. It wasn't that noticeable to the world around me, but it nearly destroyed me. My marriage suffered to the point we weren't sure we could make it through the storm. I drank too much, slept too much, neglected my family and my friends. I was a wreck.

Thank God I have a husband who loves me enough that he stuck around. And, as time went on, I healed. I realized that I could survive and even thrive without my mom . But there are still times when I need her, and that's when I know she's still around.

Do you ever get a sudden cold chill for no reason? Me, too. And when it happens, I know that Mom is watching over me. When my child is in trouble, and I give her "that face", I know that's Mom. I see her in the mirror and when I look at my hands. I know she's there when I pick out clothing or decorate my house. I don't have her flair for gardening, though, so I wish she could haunt me a little more there!

Yes, I miss her. I feel cheated that she's not around to help me raise my child and that Tessa only had five short years with her. I miss her when I have a simple question about a recipe, or a flower, or any number of things she excelled at. And I just miss her. Her love, her class, her beauty, and even her insults! But she's still here. Haunting me every day. And I really don't mind.

P.S. If you're wondering why I was thinking of Mom so much lately, it's because of this: Triple Lanolin Hand Lotion. Mom wore it every day. I recently bought some, and it's like she's never left.

The Tennessee Waltz

Here's my simple truth: I love Tennessee. I love everything about it. The weather, the natural beauty, the music, the sports, the traditions, the family values... Everything.

So many people think of Tennessee as an ignorant, unhealthy, poor state. Yes, there is some of that, but that's also true of the rest of the country. Our accent is mocked, our slow-moving ways are ridiculed, and the stereotypes are abundant. I'm here to fix that.

The following people are natives of the State of Tennessee. There are many others in our fellow Southern states, but I'm sticking to home on this one. Keep in mind, some of these "natives" might not have been born here, but we still consider them ours.

1. Presidents Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson, and James K. Polk, and Vice-Presidents Andrew Johnson and Al Gore, Jr. Not to shabby for country folk.
2. Singers Gregg Allman, Elvis Presley, Miley Cyrus, Usher, Kenny Chesney, Tina Turner, Lou Rawls, Aretha Franklin, and an up-and-coming singer by the name of Justin Timberlake (aka my next husband).
3. Actors Kathy Bates, Dixie Carter, Christina Hendricks, Annie Potts, George Hamilton, Shannon Doherty, Cybill Shepherd, Megan Fox, Morgan Freeman, Patrician Neal, and Reece Witherspoon.
4. Heroes/Activists/Politicians Alvin York, David Crockett, Nikki Giovanni, David Farragut, Howard Baker, Jr., and Jack Hannah.
5. Sports Figures Reggie White, Wilma Rudolph, Pat Summitt, Ed (Too Tall) Jones, Johnny Majors, Bill Belichick, Jason Witten, and Lynn Swann. You might have also heard of this little treasure - Peyton Manning. (GO BRONCOS!!!)
6. Legend Dolly Parton. Dolly is a state treasure, especially here in East Tennessee, where she was born. I can't even begin to tell you what Dolly has meant to our state. Beyond Dollywood and bringing tourist attention to our region, Dolly also started the Imagination Library. This program provides FREE books, one a month, to EVERY CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 5. Everyone. Free. Every month. What a legacy she will leave!

Besides the famous people, we have other redeeming qualities:

1. Oak Ridge National Laboratory - one of the major sites vital in the making of the A-bomb. Currently, the lab excels at medical research, 3-D printing, nuclear science, and currently has the 2nd-fastest computer in the world, performing 20 thousand trillion calculations per second. And no, that's not a typo.
2. Memphis - Home of the Blues; Nashville - Music City, USA; and Bristol - Home of Country Music. Any music you hear today - and I mean ANY music - was influenced by one or all of these cities.
3. Great Smoky Mountains - the most visited National Park in the country. If you've never seen the beauty of the mountains of Tennessee, you truly have missed out. The West might have bigger mountains, but ours are certainly prettier! Lush land, thousands of miles of mountain roads and millions of miles of hiking trails, not to mention lakes and rivers and wildlife. This is truly God's country.
4. St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital - founded by Danny Thomas in 1962, St. Jude's treats children with cancer. Beyond that, they never charge a family who can't pay. A family's worse nightmare is treated with the best physicians and medicine in the world and all for free.
5. Knoxville alone is home to the corporate headquarters of Regal Cinemas, Tennessee Valley Authority, Bush Brothers, Pilot Flying J, and Scripps Networks, including HGTV. Also located in Tennessee is FedEx, O'Charleys, J.C. Bradford & Co., and Dollar General just to name a few.

Ok, ok, that's enough bragging on my part. You get the point. Tennessee is full of exciting, intelligent, beautiful, caring people. We change the world. We welcome it into our homes. We help to heal it and look for solutions to cure it.

We are old, young, white-collar, blue-collar, Bible-thumping, moonshine-drinking, rebel flag-flying, Civil Rights-marching, country-crooning, hip-hop dancing, football-crazy, hard-studying, people. We are history and we are the future. We are big cities and small towns. Culture and mud racing. The Great Smoky Mountains and the Mississippi River. We are America.

Come to Tennessee...y'all.
P.S. To see photos from this beautiful state, visit my website: www.menopausemomma.com.

Beep, Beep!!

Most of you know I have a little problem with road rage. Just a little bit. A teeny tiny itty bitty bit. Fine, I have a LOT of road rage.

I don't know when it happened, but I think it was around the same time I started saying, "Turn down that music!" People drive me insane on the road. It's like a whole new breed of stupid has invaded Earth. These are the people I'm talking about:

1. The Left-Laners: You know these people; they are the ones who insist on driving in the left-hand land ALL. THE. TIME. I believe these people feel that they should police everyone else. If they are going the speed limit, so should everybody! Right?? Wrong. It's called "impeding the flow of traffic." It's also called "making me want to ram your bumper." Just move over.
2. The Line-Cutters: Believe it or not, I'm not talking about the school pick-up line here. That's another blog altogether. I'm talking about lines of traffic due to road work, accidents, weather, etc. These are the people who stay in the closed lane until they are thisclose to the end, and then try to cut over in front. Or the ones that cut back and forth between lanes, trying to get the advantage. Listen, if getting to your location 20 seconds earlier is that important to you, go ahead. Just not in front of me. So...don't.
3. The Know-It-Alls: Obviously they know it all, because they ignore every sign they pass. You say your truck is 14' tall and the bridge sign says 13' tall? No need to read that sign! Who needs the roof of the truck anyway?? Road is closed due to flooding? No worries! I'm sure you can make it through! Your exit cuts off to the left in 1/2 mile? No need to prepare; just cut right in front of four lanes of traffic. We'll wait! Here again, don't.
4. The Grumpies: These folks need a big ole hug! Apparently, someone killed their dog, cause they are not having any of it! They won't let you into a long line from a side road; they won't wait their turn at a four-way stop; they take up two spaces in the parking lot; they cut you off in traffic and then flip you a bird like it was your fault... You get my drift. Do me a favor, Grumpies - don't.
5. The Teenagers: Yes, we've all been teenagers at some point and we drove badly, too. But seriously teenagers, SLOW DOWN!! Yes, it's fun to drive fast and you might look cool, but you're a pain in the butt. Speed on your own property, not in front of my house. Don't.

Finally, before someone rats me out, I please guilty to most of these at one time or another. But as a parent and official member of AARP, I've earned the right to say "Do as I say and not as I do!" Just don't.

Brrrmm...brrmmm...

A Week in the Life

I've had a lot to write about lately: snow, my daughter's cold, a new puppy. And those topics are also the reasons why I haven't written: snow, my daughter's cold, a new puppy. Ugh. Don't you just hate it when life gets in the way of having fun?

First the snow. We used to live in Northern Virginia, and we still have many friends there. Here in our corner of the world last week, we got 1/2" of snow. Northern Virginia got over two feet. TWO. FEET. I can't even. Just the threat of bad weather closed our schools for three days. Can you even imagine how long those kids up north will be out of school? There is not enough Prozac in the world.

Snow added to the story of Tessa's cold. She started feeling bad on the weekend, and by MLK day, she had a full-blown cold. Since she's missed so much school that we received a warning letter (ahem...child), I really needed her to go that Tuesday. Of course, she was too sick, so we headed to the walk-in clinic for them to tell us she did indeed have a cold. So that's two days home. And the three days the school closed? Yep... So she was home all week. She's big enough now that she spends most of her time in her room watching videos, so it wasn't bad. However, last year they missed two solid weeks of school, so I'm crossing my fingers here.

Now, the puppy. Oh my, the puppy! Of course we didn't need another dog. This brings our total to five, which is really four dogs too many. But our dogs were mostly outside all time, and I was feeling the need for a dog that could keep me company. Cause the cat could take me or leave me, depending on the mood of the day.

So I begged my husband, and might have made promises, for a puppy. I found someone close-by who had Shichon puppies. What is a Shichon, you ask? Don't worry, I didn't know, either. They are a mix between a Shih Tzu and a Bichon Friese. In other words, ADORABLE! So let me introduce you to Murphy!

Isn't he precious?? Oh my goodness, I can't get enough of him! I adore my Mastiffs and Wolfie, and the cat and the rabbit, and the guineas, and the chickens....whew! But this little guy...

So that's been my life the past week. How about you?

P.S. I haven't forgotten the book club, I just haven't had a chance to work up the questions. But I'll do it soon, I promise!

Weird Things Happen

Weird things happen to us, you know. Some strange-weird and some funny-weird and some what-the-hell-weird. We're not quite weird enough for reality tv or funny enough for a sitcom, but we make do with what we've got.

We have weird house things:

There was the time the lady crashed into our front yard, taking out part of the original brick wall that borders the driveway. Neither she nor her son, who was riding with her, were seriously hurt, but her vehicle and our wall were done for. Oh, the rooster was also ok. What rooster, you ask? The one in the front seat, of course! Doesn't everyone hold their rooster in their lap in the front seat after it loses an illegal cock fight? No?? Huh...

At our previous residence, we had a neighbor who was, shall we say, involved. To be blunt, she was so nosy, she probably knew every time one of us passed gas. She had her home office set up so she could clearly see our house while she worked at her desk. Yet she somehow missed someone driving into our driveway and removing a large and extremely heavy heat pump from the side of our house and driving off with it. And yes, the side that faced her house.

There was the tree that crushed our truck and our fence, then the other tree that crushed the trampoline. We have several old trees in our front yard that are at least twice the height of our house. We're just waiting.

I remember the Winter Don decided to be proactive and stack a load of wood in case we lost power. The electrical wires fell on the wood pile. Think about that...

We've replaced two dishwashers after mice have chewed through the wiring. They also got the Lexus one time. Don's bathroom now has no heat because they chewed through the ducts.

We've replaced a roof, a few dryers, three HVAC systems, fencing, brick walls, and crushed vehicles. No wonder we're poor!

There are the weird animal stories:

We once sold our goats to a nice man and his father. Actually, we told them they could have them for free, but they would have to catch them. Nearly an hour later, the goats were in their truck and the younger man was on his way to have his most likely broken hand checked out. Let's just say the goat had a good fake-off game.

We had one cat who lost his mind and would open and then hide in the kitchen cabinets. Our current cat sits in the window and "chirps" at the birds. She also meows non-stop. Seriously...NON. STOP.

We have the mentally-challenged Mastiff (sorry Magnum) who still hasn't figured out the most basic animal instinct. Yes, I'm talking about THAT. Poor Bullitt gets so excited at feeding time that he knocks over the water bucket EVERY DAY. And Macy - well, she's just Macy. Or as my friend calls her, Cujo. Let's not forget our first Mastiff, Ginger, who broke my hand dragging me down the street!

One of our former horses, Shelby, was a master at injuring humans. She once threw Don off her back, then tried to roll over him. On purpose. She got me with my back turned and gave me the bum rush. It was like a scene in a movie where the character goes face down in the mud. And ouch!

We have chickens who eat the dog food and a dog that eats chicken scratch. We once had a murderous giant rooster named "Big Don" who would chase us around the yard. (I really can't tell you the story behind the name, but believe me when I say HILARIOUS!) We've had hens that would get lost and roosters that limped. We currently have a rooster who has some crazy neck thing that makes him look like he has epilepsy.

There are the "Did he/she really say that?!" moments:

Around the time Tessa was age 3, her dad took her to a golf course. Having never been there before, he was looking carefully for the place. He told Tessa to keep her eye out for a sign that said, "Golf Course." She replied, "You look for it, Daddy. I CAN'T READ!!"

Last week, when I wore a red striped sweater, Tessa told me, "Freddie Kruger called; he wants his sweater back." In a rare moment of brilliance, I replied, "He called you, too. He wants his face back. BOOM!!!" Mother of the year right here, folks!

One day while I was sweeping with a new broom, Don inquired if I had "bought a new car." Hardy har har.

Yeah, we've had weird/funny/crazy things going on for a long time now. And it's true that you have to laugh at them. Besides, crying just ruins my mascara...

So...Read Any Good Books Lately??

A friend of mine recently posted a list on Facebook that included different types of books to read during the new year. I was so excited! I absolutely LOOOOOOOVE to read. LOOOOOOOVE. My mother instilled in all her daughters the love of books. We were at the library every Saturday. In the first grade, I won an award for reading the most books the preceding Summer (sorry Laura Beth). So you see, I LOOOOOOVE to read. Clear enough?

I will read anything: books, magazines, newspapers, brochures, pamphlets, cereal boxes, , instruction manuals...you get the drift. I've had to re-learn how to eat a meal without a book in my hand. I thought about buying a Kindle, but I can't. I love the feel of the book in my hand. I love the smell of bookstores (especially used book stores), the heft of the physical book, the dog-eared pages. I love the feeling of opening a new book, excited to start the adventure. And I mourn when I reach the end of a beloved book.

I'm a end-of-the-book cheater, too. I can't help it. It's the whole "have to be in control" issue. But it doesn't ruin the book for me. Even if I know the ending, I can still enjoy the journey to get there! My favorite genre is Mystery. I like my magazines fluffy and entertaining, but my books dark and mysterious. I don't do many series of books, but I did get sucked in by the Divergent and Hunger Games books. I recently started the 5th Wave series. It seems that the "Young Adult" genre calls to me as well. Cause I'm still a young adult... ahem.

Anyhoo, you probably know where I'm going with this. I want to take this list and start a book club!! Here's what it looks like:

So, who's in?? If you want to participate, I'm going to start by recommending a book which might check off several boxes for you: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. It is a beautiful book. You will see the pictures in your mind. If you're a regular reader, you know what I mean by that. This book is appropriate for adults and older children who can read longer books.

So...let's set our reading time for one week from tomorrow, which puts us at January 18. I'll come up with a set of questions for discussion.

I'm so excited about this!! I hope you will join me. Happy reading!!

Welcome 2016!

The year 2015 is almost over. After today, there are just three more days to make good on those resolutions we made on January 1. Then we can all make new ones that we won't stick to. I've decided that this year I will make New Years Resolutions that I can keep. So here goes...

1. I promise to not watch, read, or talk about anything that involves someone with the last name Kardashian, Jenner or West. This might be harder than expected. While I truly don't give a diddly-squat about them, they are EVERYWHERE! So I will keep my tv remote and page-turning finger at the ready to zoom quickly by any mention of these "people."
2. I will not watch any "Real Housewives" or "Bachelor/Bachelorette" show. I never have, so this one ought to be pretty easy to keep.
3. I will also not watch anything involving the Duggars, Honey Boo Boo, or the Robertsons of Duck Dynasty. In fact, the only reality tv I watch will be Tree Masters, American Pickers, or The Voice (if and only if a K-town singer is involved).
4. I will watch less tv and read more. Do I really need to watch Kelly & Michael or Ellen every day? Do I really need to watch Hoda and Kathy Lee get tipsy every morning? Am I learning anything from daytime tv? Probably not. And People is reading, right?
5. I will not nag at my child to clean her room every day. I promise to nag only every other day. (JUST CLEAN YOUR ROOM, CHILD.)
6. I will complain less about menopause. Oops!!! There went one of those hormone swings again! Whew! Of COURSE I won't complain less. Who am I kidding??

OK...those are fun, but I do have some serious ones.

1. Love more. This shouldn't be too hard, should it? Accept others, forgive easily, and show those I love absolute love.
2. Educate myself. I'm not talking about school education; I want to learn something new this year. A new hobby, a new sport, a new language...I haven't decided what yet, but I feel the need to grow.
3. Improve my life. Live healthier. Treat my body better. Notice I didn't say "lose weight." That's not my goal here. I just want to be a better me.
4. Write to you guys regularly. My little experiment at writing has exploded. My Facebook page has gone from 50 likes to almost 500! It excites me to know that people from all over the world like to read what I write! So I'll be right here, trying to make you think, make you laugh, or just make you come back for more.

Happy New Year, my dearest friends, family, and lovely readers. I hope your year is full of all that you want it to be. Don't regret failures and don't take victories for granted. Live, love, and laugh. I adore you all!

My Christmas Wish

My sweet hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee is starting to look more and more like a large metropolitan city. Not because of increased population or additional buildings or professional sports teams. The thing that makes it look more like Chicago or Nashville or Memphis is this: violence.

In two days, Knoxville had five shootings, with two deaths and two of the city's finest injured. Four of those five were connected and are assumed to be gang related. Gang related?? In Knoxville?

When I was a child, back in the Stone Age, the only gangs we knew about were the ones on the ball field or in a backyard treehouse. Sure, there was violence, but shootings were few and far between. Most crime was petty stuff. The biggest crime in the area involved bank fraud. Not a victimless crime, certainly, but nowhere near the scale of gang violence.

The fifth shooting occurred at a local sports store. A suspected shoplifter was chased into the parking lot by police working the "Holiday Shift." The suspect failed to stop and got into a vehicle, which he used to run over one officer and hit another. The first officer shot into the car, killing the suspect.

Now, I don't know about you, but there is NOTHING in a sports store, or any store for that matter, that would be worth losing my life for. If the suspect had survived, he would have faced lengthy sentences for the attempted murder of the officers, but by simply giving in when first asked, he would have faced a minimal sentence for the charge of shoplifting. Wow. I wonder how his family feels about his choice?

I guess I'm getting older, but I really don't understand all the anger and violence in the world today. Especially not in my hometown. East Tennessee is a region of unbelievable natural beauty and a slower way of life. Southerners are gentle and soft-spoken and friendly. What happened to that?

As I sit here, three days before Christmas, I feel especially nostalgic for "the old days." When gifts were less important than family; when stores closed for Christmas (and Thanksgiving and Easter); and when Christmas trees were real and the boogie man was fake. Most importantly, when mothers and fathers didn't have to worry about burying their 15-year-old son the day after Christmas.

For Christmas this year, I only ask you for one thing - love. Not for myself, but for the world. Yes, it's a pie-eyed idea and corny to the extreme, but it is my heart-felt wish. In return, I promise to give you the same. Unconditional, unrelenting, unmistakable love. I promise to spend the next year bringing you stories of joy and happiness and the crazy lives around us. And if I fail, let me know. Because you...all of you...are my family. And I love you each and every one. God bless.

I Like Big Mutts and I Cannot Lie...

You've heard the old saying, "If you lay with dogs, you're gonna get fleas." Obviously, that's not really about dogs, but about relationships. However, we have a similar saying around here: "If you lay with Mastiffs, you're gonna get injuries!"

We've owned Mastiffs off and on (mostly on) for six years. In that short time, I've incurred a broken hand from being dragged down the street, bruised tendons from having my foot stomped on, numerous scratches, bruises, and bumps, plus who knows how much dog hair I've swallowed! When you have a 150-pound dog, you might get hurt. When you have THREE of them, it's guaranteed!

All that being said, there is NO better dog in the world! Yes, I know that subjective, and everyone thinks their dog is the best. But Mastiffs truly are wonderul, wonderful pets. Here's my proof:

1. Mastiffs are lazy. How is that good? Walking them is only required if you don't have a fenced in yard, and sometimes not even then. Mastiffs would rather sleep than exercise any day of the week (just like me). No jumping up and down, no running through the house. Even with their large size, they make excellent apartment pets.
2. Mastiffs are child-friendly. A lot of people think the size of a dog is directly related to their temperment. Not true. Kids can climb on them, pull their tails, use them as pillows... whatever they wish. A Mastiff will never hurt a child.
3. Mastiffs keep the bad guys away. When we moved to the country, we talked about what sort of alarm system we needed. Well, we got it. The Mastiffs! Their size and their bark is enough to scare away anyone who doesn't know them. They are fiercely protective of their "people."
4. They are loyal to a fault. It doesn't matter if you've been gone a week or an hour - a Mastiff will act like they haven't seen you in years! They will make you feel like you are THE most important person in the world. And to them, you are!
5. They are so silly! Those big feet, floppy ears, and goofy grins are so funny, especially on those rare occasions that they actually run. If a Mastif wants you to do something, they will sit and "nag" until you do it! Not a bark, not a growl - more like a moan. It is wonderful to hear!
6. They are compassionate. Mastiffs are so tuned into their owners' moods. If you are sick, they will lay with you. If you are hurt, they will comfort you (unless they did it; then they hide!). They will lick away your tears and love you to health!

Oh sure, Mastiffs have their faults: they will steal your sofa and try to sit in your lap, they shed, they drool, and they leave BIG piles! But oh boy, is it worth it!

If you want a loving, sweet, family dog, I cannot recommend a better one than the English Mastiff. Here are some of my babies, past and present:

Home Sweet Home

Whenever I post photos of our house, people always gush over it. And it is a very interesting house with a lot of history. Such as:

The home was built in 1848, before the Civil War began. It was made from bricks that were made on-site with the red clay inherit to the area. The owner was Reverend Thomas Brown, a circuit preacher of the Presbyterian faith. Reverend Brown was probably considered wealthy for that time period, and he used his influence in the area to raise funds for the building of Maryville College (Maryville, Tennessee). In fact, his work for the college was so successful, it is thought that, without it, the college would not still be operating in the current day.

Reverend Brown was also an abolitionist, and it is rumored that he may have helped slaves escape to the North. What is a known fact is that the Battle of Philadelphia (TN) occurred during the month of October, 1863. A lesser known battle than the Battle of Chickamauga or the Battle at Campbell Station, Philadelphia was still an important battle. The Union was soundly defeated by the Confederates, and approximately 700 Union soldiers were taken as prisoners of war. We know that the battle took place near our property, and have heard, but not confirmed, that our house was used as a field hospital during that time, probably housing many of those Union prisoners. The house also has several "hiding" places, where the Browns' hid their valuables during this period. One is located under our refrigerator today.

That's the history of our home. Yes, it is interesting, and the home is indeed stately. But it is also 167 years old, and with that comes many, many problems!

Brick homes last for many years, but they are not indestructible. While it's survived Mother Nature's bullets, it hasn't always withstood that 20th century cannon, the automobile. At some point, the house has been hit by a car which knocked down the front portico, one that has gone over the brick wall that shores up the front yard, and hit the side of the barn. Those are the ones we know of! All these damages were fixable, but we're still waiting for that one accident that takes out a wall.

Problems also occur when you add modern facilities to old homes. We have modern plumbing, of course, but it is hooked into the original spring house, which means that we have quite a few periods of dirty water, low water pressure, or no water at all. And leaks are our problem to fix, not the local utility company. The electricity has been upgraded, but we still have that old house problem of too few outlets. Extension cords are part of our décor. Even adding art to the walls is difficult; try to hammer a nail into 13" thick brick walls!

But for all it's faults, we love this old home! With fireplaces in every room, the original hardwood floors, beautifully crafted cornices and handrails, and the old claw foot tub in the master bathroom, it is a beautiful place.

Outside, with nearly four acres, we are able to witness nature in its finest form. Some days, it seems we live in a bird sanctuary. Cardinals, wrens, woodpeckers, and other birds are numerous. The trees in our front yard are enormous. Some are obviously well over 100 years old. The squirrels jump around happily, and share in the chickens' seed. The dogs romp around (and dig up!) the back yard. The guineas and chickens roam the property, making the rounds several times a day. You can always sit and listen to something making noise around here!

Yes, I love this old house. It drives me crazy, I can't keep it clean, the animals have destroyed parts of the yard, and something is always broken or not working, but it's our home. It's where we make our memories together and it's the home our daughter will remember when she's older. Home. There's no better place to be.

Not Again

"Not again." I think those are the words being spoken by people all over our country. Another shooting. Another tragedy. Another night of grieving parents and children and spouses and friends. Parents hugging their children closer. Making sure the doors and windows are locked tightly. Laying in bed at night wondering where the next tragedy will occur.

Sweet Lord, save us all. When did we become these people? When did human life become secondary to our "causes." Why do we use our religion of choice as an excuse for the murders of hundreds of people? So many questions and absolutely no answers.

Look, this isn't a political post. I despise the fact that politicians blame each other for these events. This is not a political issue - it's a human issue. It's human beings not being taught right from wrong. Not knowing that love always triumphs over evil. It's our children being told they are better than everyone else, that they deserve more, and that they should do whatever it takes to make it to the top. It's the mindset of "us" against "them". The sin of vanity and self-entitlement. People of the World - this is OUR fault.

I have friends all over the human spectrum: Democrats and Republicans; straight and gay; Christian, Jewish and Atheist; pro-gun control and anti-gun control; white, black and somewhere in between. We disagree on many issues and some of us have extreme ideological differences. But here's one things I know with every fiber of my being - none of us would ever, ever, ever harm one another. NEVER. How do I know this? Because I know how we were raised. And that is to love and respect one another and our differences. Period.

So how do we change the world as it is now? I really don't know. Things have gotten so extreme that I'm not sure it can be fixed. But I do know I can fix my little part of it. I can teach my daughter that it's not okay to hate. That she must respect the lives of EVERY human being, and not just those that agree with her. I can teach her that the only way to solve a problem is love. That she is no better or worse than any other person. And that she will always be loved by her dad and me, no matter what. Unconditionally.

Yes, I'll also teach her about the evil in the world. That there are terrible, terrible people out there who don't know how to love. That she has the right to defend herself, but only in the face of pure evil and not a slight injustice. I will teach her that you can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, and that killing them with kindness is better than killing them with bullets, but to keep the bullets close, just in case.

There's no answer to the shootings. There's no way to fix this Earth we've damaged or to fix the people on it. All we can do is pray, and help, and love. Just love.

It's The Most Marvelous Time of the Year!

I love Christmas!! It is absolutely my favorite time of the year. (And for all my non-Christian friends, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Solstice, and all other celebratory greetings!) I think part of the reason I love it so much is the traditions observed.

Every family has it's own traditions and customs. Some go on vacation, some invite the entire extended family to visit, some spend a quiet holiday at home. My little family plays that lovely Christmas game entitled, "See How Many Celebrations You Can Fit Into One Day At Different Houses In Different Cities." We start out at my husband's mother's family, swing by his father's house after lunch, and end up at my dad's house in the early evening. Before my mom passed away, we had to fit in a gathering at her house as well. It's tiresome, but it's our tradition, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

My childhood traditions were different, and they were set in stone! Christmas eve, my sisters and I (mostly moi) would wait impatiently for supper at my dad's parents' house. My dad's sister, her husband and my cousin were there, as well. Once we arrived, the womenfolk would heat things up, bake the rolls, set things on the table, etc. The kids would all sit on the sofa in the living room with my grandfather. (Have you even noticed that no one used the living room back then? Christmas day was the only day we sat in there.) My grandfather would get us giggling by picking up packages and shaking them, trying to guess what was in them. We loved it!

After eating, we had to wait until EVERY dish was washed, put in the dishwasher, put in the refrigerator, or covered up. It was only when we were much older that we finally convinced my grandmother to use paper plates, but even then, the pots and pans had to be done!

Finally, it was time for presents!! We were so blessed - we always had a ton of presents to open. Some were just socks or underwear or some other "useful" gift, but there were toys and fun stuff as well. We all had our assigned spot to sit while presents were opened. It never varied, not even the one year after my grandmother died that we still got together there.

Finally, we gathered our things and headed home to wait for Santa. We were allowed to open our presents from Mom and Dad before bedtime, but the big stuff had to wait! The kids would rush down early Christmas morning to see what we got, followed by looking at the little stuff in our stockings. After everything was opened and played with and tried on, we would head back to my grandparents' for Christmas lunch, where we would show off one of our many prized gifts.

Our final event was heading to my mom's parents' house. It was different there. Being extremely poor, they weren't able to shower us with gifts. But my grandmother gathered Green Stamps at the grocery store and saved them all year to buy us a gift. It was always a doll or a Bible; she would alternate the two. Although we didn't realize it then, it was really a gift of love. And that was something she didn't give a lot.

Gosh, how I loved those times! I can still remember the taste of my grandmother's creamed corn, the way her fake silver Christmas tree looked the same way every year, the piles of presents underneath it, watching Mom open her Estee Lauder perfume that Dad bought her every year... I remember it all.

I hope my daughter remembers our traditions. They're not the same as they were back then, but we try to make them special nonetheless.

What are your favorite holiday traditions? I'd love to hear some of them!

Christmas Gift Guide (Or What I Want Someone To Buy Me)

Now that Thanksgiving is over and the Christmas season has started, (Seriously people, it does NOT start the day after Halloween! Don't rush me!) I'd like to give some suggestions for Christmas presents that are actually useful, if not very creative, for those hard-to-buy-for people:

1. Granny panties: Pretty panties are fine - little, lacy thongs that barely cover one cheek...IF YOU ARE 20!! Let's be honest - if you are over the age of 30, have kids, or really don't like the feeling of a string in your nether-regions, you wear granny panties. The kind that cover your whole tush, have a waistband above your bikini line, and, if you're lucky, keep your jelly belly held in. Buy them in bulk; they're cheaper that way.
2. Diapers: Adult or baby diapers; just depends on the recipient. What I do know is that you never have enough. Both kinds are expensive and both are needed on a daily, if not hourly, basis. For those in the adult category, a mail-order subscription saves both you and the recipient the embarassment of a check-out clerk asking for a price check over the intercom. "Price check on adult diapers for line 7, please!"
3. Pens and/or pencils: You can ignore this one if you can answer one question: can you locate a writing utensil in your house within 5 minutes? I didn't think so. A pack of 100 should last for about a week.
4. Antacids: This one is a no-brainer. After full Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners at your mother's house, your in-laws house, your office party, and those friends who insist on inviting you to their party every year, you're going to need this. The food, the stress, the traveling, the mother-in-law asking when you are going to start a family...stock up on this one.
5. Wine: I don't think I need to explain this one. Family get-togethers, shopping crowds, traffic...you get the point.
6. Gift cards: I don't mean a card to some random restaurant that the recipient has never been to and probably never will. I'm talking liquor stores, home improvement shops, drugs stores and Walmart. Places that we ALL buy from, whether we want to admit it or not.
7. Pet supplies: If your friend has pets (let's say, for example, four large dogs...) a gift card to a pet store or a large shipment of Purina One Large Breed Dog Food (just an example) is a great gift. Because there's nothing worse than realizing you ran out of dog food while three English Mastiffs and one Great Pyrenees are staring at you. Or so I've heard.
8. Headphones: These are especially appreciated by parents, spouses of snorers, and/or teachers. If your recipient is all three, throw in a bottle of Jack Daniels.
9. Bacon: I have no reasoning for this other than I had a craving for it just now and wished someone would buy me a big ole load of bacon, preferably already cooked. And no turkey bacon!! Please...I'm pretty sure that if Jesus had eaten bacon, (Yes, I know he was a Jew; that's why I added the "if"!) he would have eaten the real stuff. Bacon from a bird? Freaks.
10. Cash: Because there's no one on the face of the earth who can't spend cold, hard cash.

I hope this list helps you buy for those difficult people. Or for me. Except for #2; I obviously don't need those...

The Downfall of Society

If there is one thing that we, as a society, are failing at, it is this: common courtesy.

We are living in the rudest, most selfish time I can remember. Please and thank yous are rare; "ma'am" and "sir" are practically obsolete; and just see how many people still hold the door open for you.

Our children aren't taught manners any more. They act out, push and shove their way to the front of lines, yell at others, and in general make a nuisance out of themselves. Their parents, being rude as well, ignore them, hoping they will just stop, instead of teaching them how to correct this behavior.

Rudeness is rampant. From the sales person who talks on his or her phone while ringing up your purchases to the customer who wants to speak to the manager because she was overcharged 5 cents on that can of peas. The person who cuts you off in traffic and then flips you the bird as if you were the one who got in his/her way. From the child who yells at his/her parent when they can't have a candy bar to the parent who yells back at them or smacks them in retaliation.

We've forgotten how to be nice. We don't help people who obviously are struggling. We don't send thank you notes. We don't call friends. We only care about ourselves and how others can help us.

I'll admit I'm guilty of these things at times. I don't check in with my dad or my sisters often enough. I don't stop to help someone if I'm in a hurry myself. I get irritated with other people (ya think?!) and speak out of turn. We all do it.

Bear with me while I re-tell this story:

"A Jew going on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes and money, and beat him up and left him lying half dead beside the road.

By chance, a Jewish priest came along; and when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by.

A Jewish temple assistant (Levite) walked over and looked at him lying there, but went on.

But a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw him, he felt deep pity. Kneeling beside him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with medicine and bandaged them, then he put the man on his donkey and walked along beside him till they came to an inn, where he nursed him through the night." Luke 10:30-34

The beloved story of the Good Samaritan. The best example of loving thy neighbor. Wouldn't it be great if we could be like that?

The holiday season starts this week. Along with it comes Black Friday, traveling, seeing family, etc. So many opportunities to do good, but just as many opportunities to be rude and selfish. This year, let's make a pact to do good, not evil. Even if it's just one instance, try to do something nice for someone. Hold open a door, pick up a dropped item, say "Good Morning," let someone go in front of you in line. Anything to let another human being know you care.

I care about you. Love you all.

Opposites Attract

My husband and I don't work on paper. No one would look at our likes and dislikes and think this marriage is feasible. I give you the following examples:

He's a hard-core Republican; I'm a mostly-Democrat, sometimes-Republican, sometimes-neither. Or in his words, wishy-washy. I don't know how this happened. This is twice I've married a Republican. I've learned that talking about politics is a HUGE no-no! And hubby really does know much, much more than I do about such things, so I usually just keep my mouth shut and then vote my heart.

He's mountains; I'm the beach. (I said "beach" people! B-E-A-C-H! Not the other word!) While I love the mountains, it's not where I would want to spend day after day after day. A few days of the views and the quiet are enough for me. The beach, however...I could like FOREVAH on the beach! But, unfortunately, hubby feels the same about the beach that I do the mountains. If we could find a place in the mountains near the beach...!!

He loves hot sausage; I like it mild. Ok, maybe that's a bad example.

He's messy; I'm neat. Here's a note of advice to young people thinking of marrying - if you are dating someone who is the opposite of you in regards to neatness, make sure you can handle it. Just as you will not change, neither will they. For the most part, I can handle it, but there are times where I lose my cool! Then I just clean up the mess myself, which I should have just done to begin with.

He's more reckless; I'm cautionary. As with most dads, he's the "fun parent." That's because he is able to let the kid do more and try more on her own. He worries less. He likes to drive fast, fly planes, ride horses, and climb on motorcycles. I like to read.

He likes hard news; I like fluff. Oh, I listen to the news, too, but I watch once and I'm done. Hubby could watch news channels all. day. long. I love celebrity news, fashion, and cartoons. What can I say?

So, you see what I mean? On paper, we suck. But here's the thing - WE WORK!!! We do it! We have an awesome marriage! How? Like this:

We respect each other and each other's opinions. Period.

We laugh often, especially at ourselves. There's nothing this family loves more than a hardy laugh. The more sarcastic, the better. Our sense of humor is definitely in sync.

We work well together. We've learned that, when completing projects, only one person can be in charge. The other person is there to simply help and do what he or she is told. We know what our individual strengths are, and we take the lead in those situations.

We are still attracted to each other. Heaven knows we've both changed physically in the last 13 years. But hubby tells me all the time that he only sees the girl he fell in love with. And I still see my knight in shining armor. We still would rather be with each other than anyone else.

Marriage is hard work. It's not happily ever after. It's struggling, and fighting, and working your way together to a common ground. It's a roller coaster ride that never stops at the station. But is it worth it? You bet it is!

No matter how our marriage looks, on paper or in real life, I can still say with all sincerity and honesty - I have the best husband in the world for me. I love you, baby.