If at First You Don't Succeed, Ask Mom

Everyone out there knows what it’s like to watch someone you love struggle.  If you’re a parent, it’s even harder.  You want your child to do their very best and excel at everything, but you also want them to be independent and responsible for their own achievements.  It’s a very fine line between not doing enough for them and doing too much.

I bring this up for a reason.  We’re barely into the second week of school and we’re already struggling.  Last week, Tessa forgot to bring home her math book and therefore, couldn’t finish her homework.  She had to go in early to get it done.  Tonight, she had Science homework that included fill-in-the-blank questions.  I asked if she had notes from class or her Science book with her and the answer once again was “no.” 

Her excuse was this: “I thought you would know the answers.”  Well, yes…I guess I could get the answers.  I mean, it’s been 40 years since I’ve been in Fourth grade and I don’t really remember facts about ecosystems, but I’m sure I could wing it or Google it.  But should I? 

Am I teaching her anything if I let her get by with forgetting textbooks or using a calculator or asking me how to spell words?  Exactly what is my limit of required parental assistance?  Do I micromanage her homework and check all the answers for accuracy, or do I simply make sure she completes it all?

These are tough questions, folks.  I know many, many, many parents before me have struggled with the same issues.  I don’t know if there’s any right answer for it.  Maybe it’s just what’s right for your particular child. 

I’ve decided that I’m going to write a list.  Call it a Bill of Homework Rights.  I’ll list the things that she, as the child, is entitled to in the way of homework assistance.  I’ll also include the limits that I, as the parent, have in regards to giving answers.  I have in a few in mind, but I need more.

Those of you out there who have already made this journey can help.  What would you put in this Bill of Rights?  What would you leave out?  How did you handle this problem? Feel free to comment here or on Facebook.  I’d love to hear your answers.

On the bright side, we only have eight more years until she graduates!  Now, let’s talk about college…