Roly-Poly-Oly

In the interest of full-disclosure, I should admit that I just finished a very large waffle cone full of chocolate fudge frozen yogurt.  At 8:45 in the morning.  I’m pretty sure this is not the way to lose weight.

I’m having one of those mornings: I feel old and I feel fat.  Just two weeks shy of my 49^th birthday, I’m heavier that I’ve EVER been, including pregnancy.  I have no desire or energy to exercise, I would love to lie in bed all day, and none of my clothes fit.  I think it’s time to admit that I need a change.

We all know THOSE women who say, “I weighed 102 pounds when I got married,” and you look at them and think, “Yeah, sure you did.”  Well, I actually did.  I’ve been skinny my entire life.  At one point, my parents took me to the doctor because they thought I was anorexic (I absolutely wasn’t).  I was just a very thin person.  And I hated that, too. 

People who would never think to call someone fat would often think it’s okay to tell someone how skinny they are.  Believe it or not, those comments hurt just the same.  I was always trying to gain weight.  You heard me…GAIN weight.

Fast forward to age 44 and I got my wish.  At first, it was just enough.  I looked great!  I’ve never been one to exercise, but I had filled out nicely and was really happy with my body.  But then I kept on going.

I had a few things working against me: my mother became terminally ill and I started perimenopause.  I joked with Mom that, as she lost weight, I was gaining it.  When she died 14 months later, I had gained about 20 pounds.  Still ok, but I wanted to keep it at that point.

Two years ago, we moved to the farm.  You would think that all the work required around here would keep the weight off.  You would think… 

So here I am, 40 pounds from where I started.  It’s time to get moving and do something about it.  I don’t yet have a plan.  Honestly, I’m pretty sure that I just traded an alcohol addiction for a food addiction.  Remembering how hard it was to beat the first one, I don’t look forward to doing it again.  But I have to.  I’m already a “mature mom,” and if I want to see my daughter have her own kids, I need to get healthy.

So get ready, cause you’re gonna hear a LOT about this!  Complaints, failures, whining, and hopefully a few good days.  Are you ready??