Chasing Ghosts

One of the questions new visitors often ask about our old house is this: "Do you have ghosts?" Our answer is always, "We're not sure." How do you answer that? No, we've never seen a "ghost." But do we have things that haunt us? Of course we do!

When I think of "ghosts" or "hauntings", I don't think of them in the usual sense. To me, ghosts can occur in many forms: a mistake from the past; a regret; a missed loved one; etc. My ghost that haunts me is easy to identify - it's my mom.

Of course, I don't mean that my mom appears to me in spirit form. If she did, I'd be sitting in an asylum right now. But she is always with me, whether I want her or not! And, good or bad, she has shaped my life and made me who I am today.

Those who know my mom know what a force of nature she was. She never backed away from an opinion and made sure we knew who was in charge. She wasn't mean, but she could certainly hurt you when you let her guard down. My sisters and I all had different relationships with Mom, but to me, she was usually kind and loving. She was my mom.

When Mom died, I went through a breakdown. It wasn't that noticeable to the world around me, but it nearly destroyed me. My marriage suffered to the point we weren't sure we could make it through the storm. I drank too much, slept too much, neglected my family and my friends. I was a wreck.

Thank God I have a husband who loves me enough that he stuck around. And, as time went on, I healed. I realized that I could survive and even thrive without my mom . But there are still times when I need her, and that's when I know she's still around.

Do you ever get a sudden cold chill for no reason? Me, too. And when it happens, I know that Mom is watching over me. When my child is in trouble, and I give her "that face", I know that's Mom. I see her in the mirror and when I look at my hands. I know she's there when I pick out clothing or decorate my house. I don't have her flair for gardening, though, so I wish she could haunt me a little more there!

Yes, I miss her. I feel cheated that she's not around to help me raise my child and that Tessa only had five short years with her. I miss her when I have a simple question about a recipe, or a flower, or any number of things she excelled at. And I just miss her. Her love, her class, her beauty, and even her insults! But she's still here. Haunting me every day. And I really don't mind.

P.S. If you're wondering why I was thinking of Mom so much lately, it's because of this: Triple Lanolin Hand Lotion. Mom wore it every day. I recently bought some, and it's like she's never left.

The Tennessee Waltz

Here's my simple truth: I love Tennessee. I love everything about it. The weather, the natural beauty, the music, the sports, the traditions, the family values... Everything.

So many people think of Tennessee as an ignorant, unhealthy, poor state. Yes, there is some of that, but that's also true of the rest of the country. Our accent is mocked, our slow-moving ways are ridiculed, and the stereotypes are abundant. I'm here to fix that.

The following people are natives of the State of Tennessee. There are many others in our fellow Southern states, but I'm sticking to home on this one. Keep in mind, some of these "natives" might not have been born here, but we still consider them ours.

1. Presidents Andrew Jackson, Andrew Johnson, and James K. Polk, and Vice-Presidents Andrew Johnson and Al Gore, Jr. Not to shabby for country folk.
2. Singers Gregg Allman, Elvis Presley, Miley Cyrus, Usher, Kenny Chesney, Tina Turner, Lou Rawls, Aretha Franklin, and an up-and-coming singer by the name of Justin Timberlake (aka my next husband).
3. Actors Kathy Bates, Dixie Carter, Christina Hendricks, Annie Potts, George Hamilton, Shannon Doherty, Cybill Shepherd, Megan Fox, Morgan Freeman, Patrician Neal, and Reece Witherspoon.
4. Heroes/Activists/Politicians Alvin York, David Crockett, Nikki Giovanni, David Farragut, Howard Baker, Jr., and Jack Hannah.
5. Sports Figures Reggie White, Wilma Rudolph, Pat Summitt, Ed (Too Tall) Jones, Johnny Majors, Bill Belichick, Jason Witten, and Lynn Swann. You might have also heard of this little treasure - Peyton Manning. (GO BRONCOS!!!)
6. Legend Dolly Parton. Dolly is a state treasure, especially here in East Tennessee, where she was born. I can't even begin to tell you what Dolly has meant to our state. Beyond Dollywood and bringing tourist attention to our region, Dolly also started the Imagination Library. This program provides FREE books, one a month, to EVERY CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF 5. Everyone. Free. Every month. What a legacy she will leave!

Besides the famous people, we have other redeeming qualities:

1. Oak Ridge National Laboratory - one of the major sites vital in the making of the A-bomb. Currently, the lab excels at medical research, 3-D printing, nuclear science, and currently has the 2nd-fastest computer in the world, performing 20 thousand trillion calculations per second. And no, that's not a typo.
2. Memphis - Home of the Blues; Nashville - Music City, USA; and Bristol - Home of Country Music. Any music you hear today - and I mean ANY music - was influenced by one or all of these cities.
3. Great Smoky Mountains - the most visited National Park in the country. If you've never seen the beauty of the mountains of Tennessee, you truly have missed out. The West might have bigger mountains, but ours are certainly prettier! Lush land, thousands of miles of mountain roads and millions of miles of hiking trails, not to mention lakes and rivers and wildlife. This is truly God's country.
4. St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital - founded by Danny Thomas in 1962, St. Jude's treats children with cancer. Beyond that, they never charge a family who can't pay. A family's worse nightmare is treated with the best physicians and medicine in the world and all for free.
5. Knoxville alone is home to the corporate headquarters of Regal Cinemas, Tennessee Valley Authority, Bush Brothers, Pilot Flying J, and Scripps Networks, including HGTV. Also located in Tennessee is FedEx, O'Charleys, J.C. Bradford & Co., and Dollar General just to name a few.

Ok, ok, that's enough bragging on my part. You get the point. Tennessee is full of exciting, intelligent, beautiful, caring people. We change the world. We welcome it into our homes. We help to heal it and look for solutions to cure it.

We are old, young, white-collar, blue-collar, Bible-thumping, moonshine-drinking, rebel flag-flying, Civil Rights-marching, country-crooning, hip-hop dancing, football-crazy, hard-studying, people. We are history and we are the future. We are big cities and small towns. Culture and mud racing. The Great Smoky Mountains and the Mississippi River. We are America.

Come to Tennessee...y'all.
P.S. To see photos from this beautiful state, visit my website: www.menopausemomma.com.

Beep, Beep!!

Most of you know I have a little problem with road rage. Just a little bit. A teeny tiny itty bitty bit. Fine, I have a LOT of road rage.

I don't know when it happened, but I think it was around the same time I started saying, "Turn down that music!" People drive me insane on the road. It's like a whole new breed of stupid has invaded Earth. These are the people I'm talking about:

1. The Left-Laners: You know these people; they are the ones who insist on driving in the left-hand land ALL. THE. TIME. I believe these people feel that they should police everyone else. If they are going the speed limit, so should everybody! Right?? Wrong. It's called "impeding the flow of traffic." It's also called "making me want to ram your bumper." Just move over.
2. The Line-Cutters: Believe it or not, I'm not talking about the school pick-up line here. That's another blog altogether. I'm talking about lines of traffic due to road work, accidents, weather, etc. These are the people who stay in the closed lane until they are thisclose to the end, and then try to cut over in front. Or the ones that cut back and forth between lanes, trying to get the advantage. Listen, if getting to your location 20 seconds earlier is that important to you, go ahead. Just not in front of me. So...don't.
3. The Know-It-Alls: Obviously they know it all, because they ignore every sign they pass. You say your truck is 14' tall and the bridge sign says 13' tall? No need to read that sign! Who needs the roof of the truck anyway?? Road is closed due to flooding? No worries! I'm sure you can make it through! Your exit cuts off to the left in 1/2 mile? No need to prepare; just cut right in front of four lanes of traffic. We'll wait! Here again, don't.
4. The Grumpies: These folks need a big ole hug! Apparently, someone killed their dog, cause they are not having any of it! They won't let you into a long line from a side road; they won't wait their turn at a four-way stop; they take up two spaces in the parking lot; they cut you off in traffic and then flip you a bird like it was your fault... You get my drift. Do me a favor, Grumpies - don't.
5. The Teenagers: Yes, we've all been teenagers at some point and we drove badly, too. But seriously teenagers, SLOW DOWN!! Yes, it's fun to drive fast and you might look cool, but you're a pain in the butt. Speed on your own property, not in front of my house. Don't.

Finally, before someone rats me out, I please guilty to most of these at one time or another. But as a parent and official member of AARP, I've earned the right to say "Do as I say and not as I do!" Just don't.

Brrrmm...brrmmm...