Beep, Beep!!

Most of you know I have a little problem with road rage. Just a little bit. A teeny tiny itty bitty bit. Fine, I have a LOT of road rage.

I don't know when it happened, but I think it was around the same time I started saying, "Turn down that music!" People drive me insane on the road. It's like a whole new breed of stupid has invaded Earth. These are the people I'm talking about:

1. The Left-Laners: You know these people; they are the ones who insist on driving in the left-hand land ALL. THE. TIME. I believe these people feel that they should police everyone else. If they are going the speed limit, so should everybody! Right?? Wrong. It's called "impeding the flow of traffic." It's also called "making me want to ram your bumper." Just move over.
2. The Line-Cutters: Believe it or not, I'm not talking about the school pick-up line here. That's another blog altogether. I'm talking about lines of traffic due to road work, accidents, weather, etc. These are the people who stay in the closed lane until they are thisclose to the end, and then try to cut over in front. Or the ones that cut back and forth between lanes, trying to get the advantage. Listen, if getting to your location 20 seconds earlier is that important to you, go ahead. Just not in front of me. So...don't.
3. The Know-It-Alls: Obviously they know it all, because they ignore every sign they pass. You say your truck is 14' tall and the bridge sign says 13' tall? No need to read that sign! Who needs the roof of the truck anyway?? Road is closed due to flooding? No worries! I'm sure you can make it through! Your exit cuts off to the left in 1/2 mile? No need to prepare; just cut right in front of four lanes of traffic. We'll wait! Here again, don't.
4. The Grumpies: These folks need a big ole hug! Apparently, someone killed their dog, cause they are not having any of it! They won't let you into a long line from a side road; they won't wait their turn at a four-way stop; they take up two spaces in the parking lot; they cut you off in traffic and then flip you a bird like it was your fault... You get my drift. Do me a favor, Grumpies - don't.
5. The Teenagers: Yes, we've all been teenagers at some point and we drove badly, too. But seriously teenagers, SLOW DOWN!! Yes, it's fun to drive fast and you might look cool, but you're a pain in the butt. Speed on your own property, not in front of my house. Don't.

Finally, before someone rats me out, I please guilty to most of these at one time or another. But as a parent and official member of AARP, I've earned the right to say "Do as I say and not as I do!" Just don't.

Brrrmm...brrmmm...