I swear.....

I’ll admit it…I have a potty mouth.  I love to cuss.  A lot.  It makes me laugh.  And yes, I DO think a joke is funnier when you have a swear word in it.  So shoot me…I could do worse things.

*Disclaimer – I do not cuss in front of my child.  I have the mom ability to turn it off and on, depending on the audience.  I also try not to cuss in front of friends who don’t like it, strangers, and my dad.  Everyone else is fair game.

I don’t really know where I got this characteristic; my parents certainly didn’t cuss, at least in front of me.  I wasn’t a big swearer in school, either.  Come to think of it, I really only started using these words once I married.  Coincidence?  I think not!

My current husband** and I swear all the time when it’s just the two of us.  Our very favorite thing to do is to pretend the animals are cussing.  I promise it’s funnier than it sounds.  Just imagine sweet Mac calling his daddy a….well, you can insert your own swear word here.

He may look sweet, but boy, does

he have a potty mouth!

 As I said earlier, I try to behave in front of regular non-swearing folk.  Especially on social media sites such as Facebook.  And especially since some of my FB friends are moms and teachers from my daughter’s Christian school. Ahem… 

I know, I know…swearing isn’t always necessary or even funny.  But I’d bet my bottom dollar that some of you have had to bite your tongue when hitting your funny bone or dropping something for the millionth time.  Even my dear mom, who strived to be the ultimate Southern lady, was driven to cussing when told the news she was gravely ill.

So I’m gonna keep on keeping on and using my potty mouth when I can.  And if you don’t like it, you can you can *%&$^#*%)^*$&#^%(^)$*%*^)^)!!!!!

 

** I say “current” because you never know when I might snap and throw him under the bus; I’ll claim menopausal insanity and win female fans across the country!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!